Doing vs Becoming

Many people are looking for ways to be more productive. One small shift in perspective can help us stay motivated and on the right track, regardless of the circumstances we find ourselves in. 

Usually at the end of the day we ask ourselves what it is we got done. What was accomplished. Some people enjoy making to-do lists in the morning and then use that as a guide to steer their energy. 

This is certainly helpful and not a bad practice. I would like to suggest however that there is a better question to ask ourselves if we want to emphasize long-term growth and personal development. 

Rather than ask what did I get done, I ask myself who am I becoming?

Whereas doing emphasizes activity which may or may not be productive, being emphasized purpose.

Becoming implies direction and intentionality. Doing is simply the expending of energy and the use of time, there is no evaluation required. Tasks are completed and checked off but aside from that the deeper question of the validity of our work or the actual benefit of it is never raised. 

I like to use exercise as an example because it so clearly makes the point. If you are focused on doing when going to the gym it is easy to enter, do some sets or a class and have a good workout. There’s benefit to that but the work is limited to that space. It is in a way external, associated only with the gym or outward appearance and not connecting with the inner person. The workout is separate from the rest of your life. It does not change your identity or mold who you are. 

This means on days when motivation is lacking or conditions are tough you will find it more difficult to exercise. It remains an optional activity because it doesn’t make up who you are. 

This is a major problem and justifiable criticism of organized religion. As a church leader i see this happen on a regular basis.  As long as church is something done on Sunday individuals can attend service after service for years without ever changing. 

The alternative is to emphasize becoming. Who you are becoming is far more important than what you are doing. They shape each other but merely focusing on actions will put the individual on a path of following the same habits year after year only to wake up one day and ask how they arrived where they are. Where did the time go and how did I get here are the questions asked by people simply focused on doing. 

Consider the example of exercise once again. The same person going to the gym the same amount of time will have a far different approach to training when they focus on becoming.

First, there is a new direction. There is a need for understanding both the starting point and the desired outcome. This leads to greater self-awareness and added meaning to every workout. It provides a reason for training on those days when the weights feel heavy and the body feels weak. The emphasis is not on doing more but on becoming stronger. The two approaches are vastly different. 

Going to the gym is now not a question of checking off a box, but an activity of someone who values their health. It is a question of identity and every time you choose to exercise is another step to becoming that type of person. Skipping a workout is not as tempting now because the driving force is not the wavering sense of motivation but the building of discipline and identity. 

This identity then makes it easier to eat well, prioritize sleep and make the other necessary changes to get the most out of training in pursuit of overall health. Going to the gym is such a small part of our total health and when that part of our indenting is unformed or undefined, all the other dedications seem like more work or additional tasks on the list and less like an extension of who we are. 

We do no longer have to rely on willpower but rather we begin to settle into our new persona as our habits and mindset start to take root and change who we are at the deepest level. 

Training also takes on new purpose and clarity. I saw this personally when I stopped “doing” CrossFit and started programming my own workouts. The seeds of this were planted long ago and began to bear serious fruit when Covid forced gyms to close and I was responsible and accountable only to myself.

I knew what I wanted to practice, or better yet, who I wanted to become and then planned accordingly. This led to the need for a better understanding of nutrition so I got certified as a nutrition coach. The shift was a focus from doing exercise to intentionally working towards becoming the person I wanted to be. 

The change spilled over to every area of my life, affecting not only me but my family and my community in a positive way. 

We are told constantly what we should be doing. It is easy to respond to those challenges and try to consistently do more for more people. This approach gets exhausting fast. 

Much more helpful is to consider how the activities we are engaged in are shaping us. Who are they turning us into? 

We are in the never ending process of becoming someone. If we don’t take ownership of that and ensure that we are growing into the person we want to be, it will be done for us, or better yet, done to us. 

To get started ask yourself the following questions:

1. In as many ways as possible try to define who it is you are now. Honestly look at the way you carry out your day. Ask yourself if you continue to do the same activities in the same way who you will be in 5,10 or 20 years? Are you ok with that? 

2. What is one simple change in your habits that can be made to help you become the person you want to be? It will involve “doing” something but the emphasis is not on the action being done but the long term effect it will have on your character?

3. Find a way to remind yourself everyday of that future person and envision becoming that man or woman. If what you want to be is good listener, look for opportunities to ask questions and speak less in conversations. If it is someone who eats well, ask yourself what that future healthier version of yourself would eat and then choose that. 

However you responded focus not on adding more items to your to-do list. Emphasize who it is you want to become and then slowly make decisions as that future version of yourself.